we'll watch the buildings turn to dust.

I have discovered a couple of things. After six drinks:

- my French drastically improves.
- my gardening capabilities increase.
- Everything tastes good.
- Banging my hip off the side of a table does not hurt quite as much as it should.
- Christopher is significantly funnier than he was an hour ago.
- I talk a lot more.

I think I'm very nearly drunk.

WARDED TO TESS

I do not care that they have fixed the atmospheric charms. I think we should go to the Lake District and get completely drunk off our faces anyway. And just generally enjoy summer. Every one and everything is very serious lately.

I had even already picked out the wine. We can't let that go to waste.

I have a couple of questions about the reunion type thing we're going to have. How is your speech going, by the way? And do you think that we can get Chris a smaller present, because of this? He's horrible to buy for. I hate present shopping. I hate presents. Everyone should be content with a book.

WARDED TO SLYTHERIN 78 + JUNIA

Congratulations to those of you who have just finished exams! If you decide to get really, really drunk later and stay drunk for a couple of days there will be absolutely no judgement from me.

We should make lots of summer plans. All of us.

WARDED TO JZALL

My brother, Christopher's, birthday is on the 30th. We have that Rosier Reunion thing the day after it, so I was hoping that means I can get a smaller present. But I do need to get him a present.

What do you get for a boy who has everything and also pretends to hate everything?

I have died and come back as a lobster. If anyone was curious.

I've been thinking about the Witch Weekly "My Life as a Death Eater" pieces. I admit this is mostly because its hard to avoid. Usually, I've better things to do than think about Witch Weekly. (I mean no offence by that, Zippy.) However, I've come to the conclusion that the author of the piece is writing it on some kind of dare. Or that they have some other sort of motivation. Personal enjoyment, perhaps? Enjoyment that comes at the expense of playing a huge joke on other people, I mean. Everything put forward by the articles is ludicrous. While I recognise that the Death Eaters, as a whole, are rather ludicrous the article is kind of really taking the mick.

So, yes, I have it in my head that there is someone who wrote those articles and is having an immense amount of fun sitting back and laughing at everybody. Like some sort of evil mastermind, with a twisted sense of humour. I'm rather looking forward to the next one. I need a good laugh.

I despise summer, sometimes. I know there's the typical "oh, he hates it because he's a ginger and therefore prone to sunburn" but I've had this hair colour all my life. I'm used to it, at this point. It's the hay fever that kills me. All this pollen and grass and people cutting their lawn. It's terrible. I mean, I suppose it's all very beautiful but I do quite like to complain. It was absolutely horrible earlier. I was picking up some sandwiches for lunch from a cafe near a flower shop and I thought I had sneezed hard enough my nose had come off or something equally ridiculous.

Still, I can't say that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed June so far. It has been a great month, even despite the hay fever. And, of course, if I didn't have something to complain about I would be extremely perturbed. I'm a proper Brit and, therefore, the idea of not having something to complain about makes me break out in hives.

WARDED TO SLYTHERIN 78 + JUNIA + LIANNE

Dear Xander,

We think your hair is lovely and fine. And not fluffy, other than in the lovely and fine way. We are, all of us, a tiny bit jealous of your amazing hair. I know I am.

Yours sincerely,
Your friends.

P.S. I didn't mean that in a sarcastic snotty way. The tone of this is entirely sincere, despite appearances.

WARDED TO GIDEON PREWETT

I am sorry for your loss. Please pass my condolences onto your brother and the rest of your family. And if you need anything, please let me know.

WARDED TO SLYTHERIN 78ERS + JUNIA

May has been a dreadful month and a terrible start to the summer season. I think we should do something to make it more lively. Obviously, we have Xander's day to look forward (Elliot and I are arranging that, we hope you can all attend) but. I think we should do something else. Or at least talk about something exciting. When is the next feasible time we could all in the same place at the same time?

Besides to celebrate Junia's birthday. I know that will be fantastic, but it still seems a long way off.

While in work earlier, one of the secretaries started reciting tongue twisters. I have now repeated so many phrases about wood chucks and peppers and elephants that the words have seemed to lose meaning. It's a great way to amuse yourself, when you're waiting about for someone to finish up some charms work.

WARDED TO ZIPPY

Hello.

Has my Aunt attempted to talk to you today?

Easter is the most boring holiday.

But happy Easter, I guess.

Sometimes, I thoroughly despise politics and politicians. It's getting a little ridiculous and I'm very tired of it all.

I realise this is perhaps not a great statement to make while working at the Ministry, but I don't care. I didn't want to be interviewed and I don't see the benefit of it at all. I realise that the two Death Eaters recently arrested both worked in the Ministry, but you cannot think that if they'd been interviewed prior to arrest everything would have been fine and dandy. That's wishful thinking to the highest extreme. Prior to actually being arrested, these interviews would have revealed what? An opinion. You can't do anything to anybody about an opinion. These men were Death Eaters and, yes, therefore they were likely purists, in one sense or another. However, they were arrested because they were Death Eaters, not because they were purists.

Just like you can't arrest someone simply for being a purist, you can't fire someone for being a purist because it's, essentially, firing someone for having an opinion. I don't want to believe that anyone will be fired for having an opinion, regardless of what that opinion actually is. It doesn't inspire much confidence in the current administration.

WARDED TO SLYTHERIN 78ERS

I've said it already, but I just want to say it again so that everyone is aware. Junia has just received a promotion to Junior Undersecretary in the Minister's office. Regardless of anyone's feelings about the current Minister, this is a fantastic position and I know we're all delighted for Junia. It's a brilliant achievement.

To celebrate, we're going to go out for a dinner, if that's all right with everyone. It's not going to be a big lavish affair--just a restaurant and some food. You don't have to dress up or anything and none of that posturing that happens at balls sometimes.

I was thinking this weekend. I know the timing seems a bit crap because it's Xander's birthday, but, sure, Xander's so great that no one would have left his birthday present buying to the very last minute. That would do his greatness a disservice.

So when suits?

Having chickened out decided against wearing a certain tie earlier this week, I decided to wear it today.

General consensus so far seems to be "please, do not wear that ever again."

I am never drinking again.

My father is out of hospital now. Thank you very much for the well wishes. I know my family appreciated it and I certainly did as well.

I do not appreciate jokes, however, about how every time I cough it's clearly a smoker's cough that's going to land me in Mungo's. I am nineteen years old: far too young for any of that nonsense. Anyway, I've told people time and time again I'm just very sensitive to dust. Unfortunately, they don't seem to get the hint and their desks continue to look like they're attempting to win Dirtiest (and Dustiest) Desk of the Decade. Is it any wonder I prefer being out on a job

WARDED TO ADDIE.

A bunch of us are going to leave the party a bit early on Friday and go to the moors. I know you've put effort into planning the party, but I thought I would ask if you wanted to go too? If not, I understand. You and Delfie are close.

WARDED TO ZIPPY

Hi.

On a scale of one to ten, how good has your day been?

HELLO.

Lottie Burke does a TERRIBLE impression of me. THAT IS ALL.

WARDED TO SWARM

Lily Evans.

Added afterwards.
WARDED TO FATHER

I fought Lily Evans. I suspect she's a vigilante.

It's only March. I have sunburn already. It is far too hot for Spring.

Still, I suppose it's an excuse for drinking Pimm's on the lawn even earlier this year. That's always enjoyable, regardless of how sunburnt you get. And if you drink enough Pimm's I suppose you don't even realise what's going on.